Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Chronicles of My Life With a Blonde, part 13: The UnHandy Handyman

On Wednesday of last week, the Blonde Spouse and Brunette Self agreed that the main bathroom shower/tub unit needed recalking. Blonde Spouse heartily agreed to take on the task. Brunette Self feels sense of foreboding. *shudders*

"Hon?" Brunette Self ventures.

"Yea, babe."

"Do you know where you put the caulking gun and supplies?" Queries Brunette Self, and directs reader to refer to part 12: Dis-Organization for further details. "We cannot afford to get more caulking and a new caulking gun right now, King County wants their blood--er, TAX money on the 31st."

Blonde Spouse diligently removes trim around top of tub/base of shower surround and treats area with mildew preventer. Blonde Spouse places trim, with nails still in it, with nails pointing upward on the base of the tub. Brunette Self asks why nail points are pointing up (and figures explaining REMOVING NAILS FROM TRIM IS MOST SAFE OPTION is too difficult and lengthy to get into at the moment), and Blonde Spouse snappingly replies it's so the nails don't scratch the tub. *BITES TONGUE*

Blonde Spouse forgot to remove remaining tidbits of caulking prior to using mildew preventer. Tidbits of Napalm like caulking hang dripping with mildew preventer (that Brunette Self is highly allergic to) around the shower surround. Blonde Spouse also forgot to take into account drying time of mildew preventer, thus extending the project back into his work week. Brunette self, several eye rolls later and pondering if we can budget in anti-histamines to combat the welts and swelling, offers to complete the project if Blonde Spouse will locate caulking and caulking gun.

Blonde Spouse states, "There behind the door in the master bathroom."

Brunette self simply ignores nagging need to try to rationalize why Blondus Spousus Dis-Organizedus would consider this the most prime location for home maintenance supplies, and simply says, "Ok."

It is now Sunday of next week, Brunette Self has managed to remove napalm dripping caulk tidbits from unit without putting herself into the hospital. Brunette looks behind doors in master bathroom for caulking supplies and caulking supplies and gun.

Brunette Self musters up the courage to educate Blonde Spousus of the Work Week Grumpus on Monday evening, "Hon, the caulking stuff wasn't where you said it would be. Are you sure you didn't move it?"

Blonde Spousus of the Work Week Grumpus pretends not to hear Brunette Self. This tells Brunette Self that Blonde Spousus of the Work Week Grumpus has dis-organized these items so far that even he does not know where they are...they are indefinitely MIA.

Having a family of four share one bathroom for the next two weeks awaiting Blonde Spousus Dis-Organizedus' next paycheck in order to purchase new caulking supplies and gun: ANNOYING.


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