Thursday, November 6, 2008

Chronicles of My Life with a Blonde, part 14: "HAMMERTIME"

Blonde Spouse has long since been banned from power tools. There is a long story in that that involves blood...let's just leave it at that.
We are putting in a new shelving unit in our bedroom, and Brunette Self had just completed cutting the shelf to size. Brunette Self assigns the task of removing the nails from the top shelving piece (reclaimed wood) to Blonde Spouse, assuming safety due to the Blonde Spouse being denied power tools. Brunette Self watches in horror as Blonde Spouse leans wood piece against kitchen sink, and proceeds to attempt to knock out the nails by hitting the tips. The wood, mind you, has the nail tip side facing Blonde Spouse, so he can obtain better "leverage." Blonde Spouse begins hammering nail tips, bending them in the process. Brunette Self pleads with Blonde Spouse to stop "before you hurt yourself." Blonde Spouse is offended Brunette Wife cannot be more supportive. Blonde Spouse then proceeds to whack one of the nail tips at the top of the board, driving the bottom row of nail tips into said Blonde Spouse's foot. Brunette Self bites tongue.
Brunette Self places new shelf down into shelf unit and on top of the support brackets of wood already mounted on the inside of the unit. Brunette Self, thinking, Blonde Spouse would be safer driving in nails rather than pulling them out, offers to have Blonde Spouse nail the shelf in. Thinking Blonde Spouse will drive a few nails attaching the board to the support, and perhaps one on each side in the front of the unit and on the back of the unit on the outside, Brunette Self hands Blonde Spouse the hammer and a box of nails and proceeds to sit down and play Word Search games.
Brunette Self gets highly involved in finding words in the puzzles, drones out the hammering coming from the bedroom. Brunette Self snaps out of it and then realizes Blonde Spouse has been hammering for quite some time. Brunette Self, feeling much like a horror movie victim about to discover the first body in the other room, wanders into the bedroom to check on the status of shelf nailing. Brunette Self is greeted with this:

chronicles of my life with a blond